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  • Day 12 - whatever tickles your fancy: hm...another piece of fic? This would be from my new obsession, my Trek fic. I swore to myself that I would never write Trek fic, but this one snuck up on me and exploded in one of my dreams and now it won't leave me alone :D I'm throwing you in kind of randomly, but I want opinions on this. It's the scene where they (the male and female leads) break-up, so yes I understand you haven't even seen how they even get together yet, I said, I want to see how I did on this. this story has become my baby, and I haven't had a baby story in a long time :p

what you have to know for this fic going in (other than that I'm throwing you out into the deep end of the fic itself) is that I'm using Gaila as an old girlfriend for Kirk. they're what I'm calling 'sandbox sweethearts'. they've been friends since they were babies, he proposed when he was five :p, and they were 'together' (as together as you can be when you're in grade school :p) up until she left right before freshman year of high school. and now she's back, at the end of their senior year. okie doke :D

OH, and she (my female lead) has five brothers. she refers to a 'them' at one point. she's talking about her brothers and her father. her mother is dead. 


“We never see each other anymore.” Sam said quietly, deciding to be the one to start the conversation.

“Well we’re busy, Sam, it’s finals week. We have college stuff to think about; internships, scholarships, things like that.” Jim answered, trying to throw out reasons for why he had barely spoken to her all week. She was sitting at the breakfast bar, he was leaning against the island. He hadn’t looked at her since he’d walked in.

“It’s not just that we never see each other, I understand being busy. We hardly ever even speak anymore, Jim,” Sam tried again, tried to make him see what she was seeing. “You spend all your extra time, and even some time you don’t have, with Gaila.” She said flat out when he didn’t answer.

“I haven’t seen her in four years, Sam. She’s one of my best friends.” Jim said, crossing his arms over his chest. She didn’t think the fact that he felt like he had to be defensive was going to help this conversation.

Sam was silent for a minute or so, staring at the clay bowl in the middle of the table. Mason had made it in some crafts class he’d taken with their Mother when he was little. She’d taken every one of them to that crafts class, and all the boys had made bowls, but Sam had made a vase, so that their Mother would have a place to put the flowers their Father was always getting her.

There was a bowl that one of the boys had made in almost every room of the house. Sam never thought of the boys when she looked at those bowls; she thought of her Mother.

“Remember when we first started going out?” she asked abruptly, looking at him. She couldn’t look him in the eye like she wanted, because he still wouldn’t look at her.

“Yea, I do.” Jim answered, the barest flicker of a smile appearing.

“You hung out with your friends then. And I hung out with your friends, with Sulu and Scotty. And I hung out with Spock and Nyota, and we hung out with Spock and Nyota. And we went out just the two of us, and we went out with all six of us,” Sam’s voice had gotten louder as she talked, a frantic quality seeping through that she tried to calm when she noticed it. “We made it work, Jim. Why can’t we make this work, with Gaila added in now? Why does it always have to be just you and Gaila—“

“Because maybe I want it to be just me and Gaila,” Jim burst out, meeting her eyes finally. There was a finality there, a coldness that she’d never seen him direct at her. “Maybe I don’t want to make it work this time.”

Sam had been leaning over the granite counter top, her hand stretched out as if she were pleading with him, but she straightened immediately after those words left Jim’s mouth and could only stare.

“…wha-what?” Sam stuttered out, something she hadn’t done since she was in second or third grade.

“She meant everything to me up until the day she left. We barely broke it off before she was gone, and now she’s back after four years, Sam. Seeing her again…I’m not so sure it’s over.” Jim said quietly, a smile slipping onto his face that she’d always thought was only for her. Sam realized now that it had never been for her. She had been the replacement.

“So this is you…breaking up—”

 “Yea.” He interrupted her quietly, glancing at her again. She nodded, but just stared at the bowl Mason had made. She wished desperately he were here, that any of them were here, so she wouldn’t have to be alone while Jim Kirk was breaking her heart.

“Get out of my house.” She said, quietly again. She folded her hands on the breakfast bar counter, her throat closing up and making it harder to breathe normally.

“What?” Jim asked just as quiet, pushing himself up and taking a step forward, a confusion she didn’t understand in his eyes.

“Get out of my house,” She said slower, as if talking to a small child. She looked over at him and met his confusion with anger; if he had to see her cry, it wouldn’t be in hurt over him. It would be in anger at him. “This is over, we’re over, right? You have no reason to be here anymore.”

“Sam…” he trailed off, and she got off the chair to walk past him, to make her way to the front door.

“There’s nothing left to talk about, Jim. You can go.” She picked up his jacket from the bench (always a sign that the jacket wasn’t staying long; she felt her breath hitch at the thought) and grasped the handle of her front door, opening it wide. She stood there holding his jacket out to him, staring at the wall in front of her: a picture of her Mother and Father hung there, before Mason and Nolan, before they were even married.

Sam’s lower lip trembled and she shook the jacket a little impatiently, wanting him gone faster. He took the jacket from her, opening his mouth again, but there really couldn’t be anything left to say. “Just go.” She whispered. Her vision was getting blurry and she had to clench her fist in her shirt, her arm across her stomach, to keep it from visibly shaking.

Jim’s hand clenched around his jacket where he held it; he looked at her one last time, and then he walked out the front door, not looking back.

Sam swung the door shut and sat down on the bench where Jim’s jacket had just been. She stared at the picture of her parents, happy and in love, and wished for the first time in a long time that her Mother was still alive. That she were here to hold Sam as she cried, like Mothers were supposed to.


Nyota was standing at Sam and Spock’s lockers the next morning, leaning against Spock’s in particular, her head tipped back, her eyes closed and the smell of her coffee wafting up from the to-go cup. She cracked one eye open when she heard Sulu approaching from the direction of Jaxon’s locker, where Jax would be if he were in town. He tipped his head up at her like she was one of the guys and smiled as he dropped his bag on the floor by the wall across from the lockers and mimicked her leaning pose.

“Spock and Samalama not here yet?” he asked, pulling out his phone to check the time before he had to turn it off for the day.

“Not that I’ve seen,” Nyota answered, her eye closing again. “And do you actually call her that to her face?”

“Occasionally.” He answered, not looking up from where he’d become distracted with his phone.

“And she hasn’t killed you yet?” Nyota asked incredulously, both of them laughing as Sulu rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to answer.

Nyota would never know what it was that had kept Sulu alive this long; Spock came through the doors of the staircase behind them and stopped in front of them abruptly. He was frowning, visibly frowning, and Sulu was struck speechless with the blatant show of emotion on his friend’s face.

“Hello Nyota,” he said quietly first, clasping her hand and giving her a small kiss on the lips, which she accepted with a smile on her face. Spock nodded at Sulu and then looked at each of them in turn. “Has Samantha arrived yet?” he asked, a certain urgency in his voice that startled Sulu back into speech.

“I was just wondering that myself. Nyota says she hasn’t been around, as far as she knows. Spock, is something wrong?” Sulu asked bluntly, pushing himself off the wall.

“Why do you ask that?” Spock turned to face Sulu fully, the frown not disappearing but deepening.

“Well you’re frowning, Spock, like really frowning. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you do that before.” Sulu answered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Spock looked as if he were debating something in his head, something to say or some action to take. He seemed to make up his mind as he asked, “Neither of you have seen Samantha at all this morning?” moving to her locker as he did so.

“No Spock, not yet.” Sulu answered, seeming to sense the importance of the question.

“Is something wrong with Sam?” Nyota asked, moving out of the way a little. Spock took Sam’s combination lock in hand and started to twist the dial in sequence.

“I saw something quite disturbing as I came into school this morning. I do not yet know what to think of it.” He answered as he took her lock off and opened the door. Her jacket was on the hook, her purse in the upper section and her notebooks and books for the first few classes were gone.

“Spock, what did you see?” Sulu asked, some anxiety leaking into his tone. Spock was dealing with this very seriously and Sulu had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well.

“Kirk,” Spock spit out, and Sulu and Nyota glanced at each other quickly as Spock shut Sam’s locker door and upper section and replaced the combination lock. Neither of them had heard Spock say Jim’s name like that since…well, they weren’t sure they’d ever heard him say Jim’s name like that. “And his…Gaila, outside of school.” Spock finished as he turned to walk down the hallway towards Jaxon’s locker and the twins’ homeroom. Sulu and Nyota both grabbed their bags to follow him.

“Well it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other, they’ve been spending a lot of time together. That’s not so weird—”

“They were kissing.” Spock interrupted Sulu, glaring at him out of the corner of his eye as they walked. Sulu stumbled in shock and Nyota stopped walking altogether. Again they both looked at each other and mouthed simultaneously, ‘kissing?’

Spock had kept walking and had made it to the doorway of Sam’s homeroom by then. They both had to jog a little to catch up. Sulu’s bad feeling was confirmed when they stepped into the classroom.

Sam was tall, a couple or so inches above average, and she was part of a basketball family that was legend at Enterprise, so she’d always had a bit of a presence around her. It hurt Sulu to walk into that classroom and see her right then. She was at her usual place in the back of the class and she looked so small, in a zip up hoodie, her rattiest jeans, a pair of Chucks she must’ve had for years, and not a stitch of make-up on. Her legs were tucked up tight against her chest, her arms crossed on her knees, her chin resting in the crook of one elbow.

Sam looked like she hadn’t gotten a bit of sleep the night before, her eyes red like she’d been rubbing them a lot and a little glassy. Sulu and Nyota stopped at the row of desks in front of Sam’s row and set their bags on their chairs, hopping up on the desks, knowing this was something Spock needed to handle. Sam didn’t seem to even notice them.

“Sam.” Spock said so quietly it was almost just an exhalation of breath, sitting down in Jaxon’s usual place next to her. That seemed to do the trick; Sam’s head turned towards Spock and her eyes focused slightly to look at him. Her breath hitched ever-so-slightly and her lower lip started trembling. She turned her entire body into Spock and squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to break down in the middle of homeroom. Spock’s arms came around her automatically, one hand to the back of her head, one hand soothing circles on her back.

“He came over last night. We…I just wanted to talk, to try to fix things. We’ve been so distant the last week or so, I wanted to see what I could do to fix things…” Sam started talking and Nyota felt her own heart breaking at the first words out of her mouth, knowing the inevitable outcome of this monologue. “I thought we could make it work, make the entire group work again, the way we used to. Adding one more to the group isn’t such a hard thing to do, it’s just one person,” Sam’s voice was shaking now, and Sulu looked over to see Nyota had shut her own eyes. He put his arm around her and she didn’t hesitate to rest her head on his shoulder in thanks. “He said he didn’t want to make it work. Said he thought that, maybe he and Gaila weren’t really over after all.”

It was silent as Sam finished. The frown on Spock’s forehead was even deeper, if that was possible and Nyota was worried she might start crying herself. Sulu clenched his jaw, trying to sort out his feelings. Jim was his best friend, if he thought it wasn’t working, it wasn’t working…but Sam had become just as much his friend these past months. Heck, Sulu had known Sam before Jim did. Seeing her like this was eating at his heart, and he had to wonder at what Jim had been thinking throughout the last week.

Just then the first bell rang, startling all of them out of their thoughts. Nyota got up quickly, kissed both Spock and Sam on the cheeks and hurried out of the classroom. Sulu stood up as well, seemed to fight with himself on what to do, and then dropped a soft kiss on the top of Sam’s head before following Nyota.

Spock put both hands on Sam’s cheeks and brought her face up to look at him. “I will see you in choir, and we will talk. And then you will come home with me after school, and we will discuss calling Leonard or Jaxon.”

“Or even Mason.” Sam whispered, a corner of her mouth twitching in a sad approximation of a smile. Spock even almost smiled back.

“Or maybe even Mason,” He repeated. His face became serious again and he rubbed his thumb across her cheekbone softly, making sure she was still looking at him. “You are more dear to me than anyone in this world and you will make it through this. I promise you.” Spock’s hands dropped from her face to grasp both of hers.

“I love you too, Spock,” Sam said, a realer smile appearing for a split second. “Now go, you’ll be late. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” She said, brushing her hand quickly under her eyes, wiping away any tears that may or may not have spilled over.

Spock nodded at her as he stood up, maybe not believing that she would be ‘fine’ (fine had variable definitions; fine was unacceptable), but knowing she would at least make it through today.

Day 13 - a fictional book 
Day 14 - a non-fiction book 
Day 15 - a fanfic 
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly) 
Day 17 - an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) 
Day 18 - whatever tickles your fancy 
Day 19 - a talent of yours 
Day 20 - a hobby of yours 
Day 21 - a recipe 
Day 22 - a website 
Day 23 - a youtube video 
Day 24 - whatever tickles your fancy 
Day 25 - your day, in great detail 
Day 26 - your week, in great detail 
Day 27 - this month, in great detail 
Day 28 - this year, in great detail 
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days 
Day 30 - whatever tickles your fancy

July 2010

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